We at Zeus Beard are sending out positive vibes to all our bearded brethren this World Beard Day.
For those of you that don’t know, World Beard Day is celebrated every first Saturday of September to promote and elevate beard-toting gentlemen around the world.
So to celebrate, we thought it would be fun to comment and make witty observations on a bunch of photos of some impressive bearded dudes that we found on the internet.
None of the things we’re about to write about is meant to be taken seriously. We just want to kick back and compliment these men on bearding achievements.
With that said, let’s go!
Beard 1 (Staring Contest)
The detail work on this guy’s beard is amazing. The cheek and lip lines are so crisp, not to mention the clean line-up haircut. It also looks like he keeps his beard well maintained.
I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’m locked into a staring contest with him. Is he trying to intimidate me? Inspire me?
It feels like a little bit of both.
Beard 2 (The Thinker)
Well check out this guy’s beard! I like the way he’s groomed it — the cheek lines look well defined, and I’m digging the textured look to the beard. It’s like some hairs are thicker than others.
I’m also curious about what this guy is thinking about. He’s just staring off into the distance, possibly pondering about what to eat for dinner or whether he should invest in some kind of cryptocurrency.
Either way, this guy has a clean beard.
Beard 3 (Tree Wizard)
I’m loving the nature vibe that this dude is exuding. Beanie? Check. Carhartt jacket? Check. Dope beard? Check.
You know what? This guy kind of looks like a wizard — a tree wizard. He probably conjured up those apples next to his head.
Go forth, tree wizard. May you bless us with sweet apples.
Beard 4 (Sad Man, Happy Beard)
What’s going on, bud? Feeling a little down? If your sadness has anything to do with your beard, you should think again.
A lot of other men would beg to have a beard as good as yours. It’s thick and healthy, so what’s there to be sad about? Are you also thinking about cryptocurrency like that other guy?
Chin up, dude. Things will get better. Also get your beard off that ledge, it’s probably dirty.
Beard 5 (The MC)
Whoa, look how straight this guy’s beard hairs are! I wonder if his facial hair is naturally that straight or if he straightens it somehow.
Also, doesn’t he look like he’s posing for an album cover? He kind of looks like an East Coast MC from the early 2000s.
I’m also digging his tiny top knot. It goes well with everything else.
Beard 6 (The Bassist)
Speaking of musicians, take a look that this man’s beard! He kind of reminds me of the late Dusty Hill from ZZ Top (May he rest in peace).
Jeez, this guy is rocking a five-string bass without frets?! You think he listens to Jaco Pastorius or Thundercat? I feel like this dude is more of a Geddy Lee and John Paul Jones fan.
I hope his beard doesn’t get tangled in the strings while he rocks out.
Beard 7 (The Ankh)
I can tell right away that this dude is meticulous about his beard and its appearance. He, or his barber, took a lot of time to style that beard to that man’s liking.
He’s giving off this look that says, “Yeah, you know how cool this beard is. Too bad your beard doesn’t look like this.”
I’m also digging that ankh earring that he’s got. For those that don’t know, an ankh is an ancient Egyptian symbol that represents the word for “life.”
Beard 8 (The Magician)
I have to say, I think this guy’s English mustache and triangle beard is pretty impressive. Not only is his mustache exquisite, his beard is well-maintained and well-groomed for its size.
With that look on his face and the dim lighting, he kind of looks like a magician. I don’t know if he’s going to show me a slight-of-hand trick or read my mind.
Regardless of what he does, he’s going to look damn good doing so.
Beard 9 (The Technology Genius)
If the last dude looked like a magician, then this guy looks like a technology genius. He’s kind of like if Steve Jobs was hip and trendy, and wore a white turtleneck instead of a black one.
I like how this man trimmed and styled his beard. He may be a tech genius, but he still has time to keep his beard in check.
He’ll be my go-to guy if I ever need to expand the memory on my gaming laptop.
Beard 10 (Words Can’t Describe)
We’re going to end this blog post with this guy. I want to say that I know what’s going on in this photo, but I honestly don’t.
So he decided to bleach not only his hair, but also his facial hair, but he left his eyebrows alone. Hmm.
I also don’t know what’s happening with his hair. It looks like something straight out of an anime.
He’s got a clean beard, though. That I know for sure.